Stop Getting Played

“Is it something with me?” “I can’t seem to attract the right guys” “None of the guys I’ve met finds me interesting enough to be with”.  Any lady girl (who wants to stop being a girl these days?) living in the 21st century has most likely heard those statements or even told them to someone else themselves. There are women who’re frustrated with not being able to find the right kind of guys who’re interested enough to commit to a long-term “live happily ever after” kind of relationship. If you’re in this category, then you’re reading the right article. We’ll discuss a few things you can start doing right away to find happiness and maybe a nice lovely relationship with the guy of your dreams.

Stop Getting PlayedDecide what you want– Here’s where it all starts. When you don’t know what you want, you can’t ask for it. You then have no choice but to settle for whatever comes along. Figure out what your relationship needs are. Do you plan to settle down soon? Would your ideal relationship be intended towards marriage? Or are you comfortable with just a Friends with Benefits arrangement? Determine what you want in line with your personality and values. When you’ve decided on what you’re looking for, then don’t settle for less. Keep looking until you find what suits you.

Get a life- A significant portion of contemporary female folk still view themselves through the lens of their romantic or sexual relationships. They hinge their reputation and sense of self-esteem on how rich or influential their boyfriend/husband (or potential boyfriend/husband) is. This is wrong. Develop a life of your own. Work harder at your job, build your career, and grow a business. Be self-dependent. A rich, healthy and successful woman is far sexier than a gorgeous hottie whose only assets are her curves.

Drop the attitude- The harlequin novels you read in high school may have taught you that being coy and playing hard to get is the best way to get men to want you. Sorry sweetie, nothing could be further from the truth. While you shouldn’t sell yourself cheap or appear too eager to jump into bed. You shouldn’t also keep a guy waiting unnecessarily. If he’s asking you out and you like him, let him know. Life is short and really intelligent guys know this. They won’t wait around forever, so why not just drop the attitude and be true to your feelings.

Be detached- “Desire is suffering” This is a saying that has been attributed to the Buddhist view on sex, but it’s quite applicable to this discussion. When you want something too desperately, you begin to believe that your happiness depends on it. You get sad when you don’t have it. Detachment is the perfect panacea for a situation like this. If there’s a guy you like or a relationship you dream of having. Convince yourself that you will be fine if you don’t have it. The point here is not to start hating the things you love. Rather it’s to be content in spite of not having them and be grateful just in case you find them.


First Impressions

People make a lot of assessments within seconds of meeting you. In fact, many of the first impressions are made in fractions of a second. Of course, some of these first impressions can be changed with time and getting to know someone.

Trustworthiness

People make a snap decision on this in a tenth of a second. A study was done at Princeton University where they gave one group a tenth of a second to see someone and then write down their take on a series of traits about that person. Another group had as much time as they wanted. The other traits were affected by the amount of time but judgments of trustworthiness did not. Meaning that we make the analysis of trustworthiness in one tenth of a second.

High Status

Don’t know if this means the marketers are doing their jobs, but apparently people perceive someone wearing name brand clothes to be higher status than someone who isn’t. Interesting because wearing name brands can mean a person is well off, but the truly wealthy don’t feel the need to impress in many situations. The idea of new money being ostentatious and old money being much more subdued and looking to stay out of view.

Straight or Gay

Some studies say that people make a decision about whether someone is gay in one twentieth of a second. Whether that decision is correct is another matter. The study found that people were right more often than chance but not much more. So even though that decision is made quickly, it may not be accurate. Apparently though, if you pay attention to if a person’s eyes dilate, that will tell you if they are aroused and attracted or not.

If Someone is Smart

Professor Murphy at Loyola Marymount found an odd bit of information. People perceive you as smarter if you maintain more eye contact, especially while talking. This behavior correlated with a person’s IQ but they found it could also be a chosen pattern to give the impression of intelligence. Two other factors also made a difference in perception: speaking expressively and the old stereotype of thick glasses.

Tattoos

This was a British study so who know how valid but they found that women with tattoos were seen as more promiscuous. We think that may just be a British thing. It is also most likely age dependent. Tattoos are so common with younger people that we think it would be hard to believe that people draw that conclusion anymore even though it was true at one time.

How You Walk

People draw conclusions from the way you walk. People will see you as extroverted and adventurous if you have a looser gait and if you have a very crisp gait as more uptight or even potentially neurotic. Also, normally when you move one leg forward you swing the opposite arm forward. People who move the leg and arm forward on the same side at the same time are seen as less coordinated. They did a study where they showed convicted muggers videos of women walking down the street and asked which they would pick as targets. They almost always picked the women walking with the same side gait.