What Men Find Irresistible

You might think about breast size or other physical attribute as being what men find irresistible. However, physical attributes may play an important part when first meeting but are less important longer term. When you first meet a person, everyone makes a quick evaluation of that person in just seconds or tenths of a second. And that is possible people to have a romantic relationship with, or business dealings or any other aspect of life.

The bigger question is how you can maintain being irresistible over the longer term. Here are some suggestions.

1) Don’t overreact and be too emotional  – Would you rather be around someone who is upbeat and fun or someone who is down in the dumps and moody? Many women overreact if a guy is not thoughtful or not paying enough attention to them. But if you worry that he no longer likes you, you can actually cause that to happen. Some guys can be complete jerks and you don’t want to be with them anyway.

But assuming that is not the case and he was being a bit dense, how do you want to respond? Are you going to try to convince him to love you? Not likely. Are you going to try and change his behavior? A recipe for disaster. Same with trying to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Men don’t want the drama. They are looking for someone who will stay upbeat and fun and relaxed even in the tough times. So keep a sense of humor even if he is wrong and the relationship will stay a lot stronger.

2) How Youthful Are You? – Not in terms of years but in terms of spirit. There are women in their twenties who carry the weight of the world on them and seem far older. Then there are older women who have that sense of freshness and energy that kids have. Your energy and positive spirit can make a much larger difference than physical attributes.

3) Body Language vs. Verbal Language – Communication in relationships consists of body language, voice tone and actual words.  Body language counts for 54% according to psychologists,  voice tone 39% and the words used only 7%.

So don’t worry about what to say, worry about how to act and how to hold yourself and think about the tone of your voice. A smile is important and says you are approachable and receptive. Think about how you react to people who aren’t smiling? They react the same way to you. It puts up a wall.

Men respond strongly to body language, so watch yourself in the mirror and also spend some time observing other people.

4) Are you over emotional?  Men react to positive emotions and tend to avoid negative emotions. If things are not going right, negative emotions will make matters worse. Men will avoid women who are emotional and look to end the relationship or become distant. With positive emotions, you can turn the situation around completely even though this may be the last thing you feel like doing.

We will hit some more another day. Hopefully this has been helpful.


How to Know if You Like Someone

What Steps Can You Take to Find Out if You Really Like Someone?

Generally liking someone is different from being sexually attracted to them. The first thing to do is to spend time with the person and get to know them. Not on dates (you can do that too) but more day to day stuff and some fun activities. You want to see how they react when things are going well and also not so well. Do they give others credit when things go well or do they take the credit, brag and are happy winning at other peoples expense? If things aren’t going well, do they whine or do they figure out how to fix things and move forward.

Why is Someone Attractive?

Sure, some people are physically attractive and it is natural to be attracted to them. They may be nice and they may be awful.  People can also impress with their intelligence. Is that all you are attracted to or is there something else inside them that attracts you as well?

Do You Think of the Person Often?

It is a good sign if you think about the other person multiple times throughout the day. Obviously they should be happy thoughts and they shouldn’t just be sexual thoughts.

Do You Laugh at Their Jokes?

Granted, some jokes need more of an eye roll, but if you like someone, you tend to laugh at things they say even if they aren’t super funny. It shows appreciation and connection. Don’t fake it though. People can tell a fake laugh a mile away. If you are forcing it, something is wrong.

Repeating Conversations

If you find yourself telling a number of other people about conversations you have had with someone, it is an indication you found the conversation important and that you value and like the person.


If you plan where you are going to be so that you are more likely to bump into someone, you probably like them. Kind of obvious point, but there it is.


If you get butterflies when you are around someone, it is pretty obvious that you like them.


Does light accidental touch send shivers through you? One more sign you really like someone.


If you are doing something you really like and you are still thinking about the other person, you definitely like them. Time for the next step and ask them out.

First Impressions

People make a lot of assessments within seconds of meeting you. In fact, many of the first impressions are made in fractions of a second. Of course, some of these first impressions can be changed with time and getting to know someone.


People make a snap decision on this in a tenth of a second. A study was done at Princeton University where they gave one group a tenth of a second to see someone and then write down their take on a series of traits about that person. Another group had as much time as they wanted. The other traits were affected by the amount of time but judgments of trustworthiness did not. Meaning that we make the analysis of trustworthiness in one tenth of a second.

High Status

Don’t know if this means the marketers are doing their jobs, but apparently people perceive someone wearing name brand clothes to be higher status than someone who isn’t. Interesting because wearing name brands can mean a person is well off, but the truly wealthy don’t feel the need to impress in many situations. The idea of new money being ostentatious and old money being much more subdued and looking to stay out of view.

Straight or Gay

Some studies say that people make a decision about whether someone is gay in one twentieth of a second. Whether that decision is correct is another matter. The study found that people were right more often than chance but not much more. So even though that decision is made quickly, it may not be accurate. Apparently though, if you pay attention to if a person’s eyes dilate, that will tell you if they are aroused and attracted or not.

If Someone is Smart

Professor Murphy at Loyola Marymount found an odd bit of information. People perceive you as smarter if you maintain more eye contact, especially while talking. This behavior correlated with a person’s IQ but they found it could also be a chosen pattern to give the impression of intelligence. Two other factors also made a difference in perception: speaking expressively and the old stereotype of thick glasses.


This was a British study so who know how valid but they found that women with tattoos were seen as more promiscuous. We think that may just be a British thing. It is also most likely age dependent. Tattoos are so common with younger people that we think it would be hard to believe that people draw that conclusion anymore even though it was true at one time.

How You Walk

People draw conclusions from the way you walk. People will see you as extroverted and adventurous if you have a looser gait and if you have a very crisp gait as more uptight or even potentially neurotic. Also, normally when you move one leg forward you swing the opposite arm forward. People who move the leg and arm forward on the same side at the same time are seen as less coordinated. They did a study where they showed convicted muggers videos of women walking down the street and asked which they would pick as targets. They almost always picked the women walking with the same side gait.